Portmansheau

PATG290: Zero Blueberry Hill Lane

Puke & the Gang:   #290 : Zero Blueberry Hill Lane

Recording Date - 29 / July / 2017

The Gang - Puke, Andrew, Nick

Intro - “Instrumental Experiment 6” by  Mike Carano

 

Guest -  [ Macy ] ~ [ Dip Maker ]

 

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Incoherent Listener Ramblings -

~ [See Below]

 

Break Promo -

~ PCL #?

 

Talkings About -

~ [a] No bird?

~ [a] Don’t ask Osborne for places to take a date. $$$$

~ [macy] Smart Car

 

News -

~ Puke gives Nick an MP3 Player

~ [p] Tesla Model 3 “customer” delivery

Launch Highlights Video

Whole Video

Tesla a Cult?

 

Only “delivering” 30 cars to high level employees like Musk himself.

Friday at night? Why? To miss the news cycle if it goes poorly?

Tesla.com leads to a livestream page that requires a $1k Model 3 reservation to watch?! (Nope, just a confusing site. Only had to enter name and a fake email.

 

First impressions of livestream, boring as fuck.

Claims their gigafactory is largest in the world, even though it isn’t done yet.

Keep claiming affordable. $35k and up is not that affordable. Chevy bolt is $36,620

Footage from the factory shows Model S and X’s.

God, now they have some dumb 11 y/o kid that won a contest. Awkward.

Ugh, now they’re showing obnoxious “fan” made commercials. Call them “Project Loveday”.

Hah, the winner is YouTube star (4.6mil subs) Marques Brownlee.

Now waiting for the Musk to show up. He’s always late, just like his products!

Still no Musk 5 minutes later. Some guy named Franz has showed up to kill time.

I wonder how many of the audience are employees? Like when the Army made us go to a Bush speech. It’s taking place outside the Model 3 factory.

Model 3 driven on stage by Musk, 7 minutes late.

Crowd doesn’t seem all that excited.

They made a projector running off a Model S.

Musk stutters a lot. Seems very nervous.

Talked about autonomy, even though the 3 doesn’t have that AFAIK.

God he’s terrible at this.

Said the biggest challenge will be mass producing the 3. Odd, I thought it was being delivered now? This is typical of his products having big promises and late deliveries.

Chart claims 5k / week by end of year.

He actually made a funny ICBM joke about a slide.

Trying to explain supply chain problems. I think this was the problem with the X

Claims they’re going to triple super charger stations.

No mention of the fact that super charger isn’t free for Model 3’s

2 models, standard and long range. Long Range starts at $44k

 

Standard = $35k + 220 miles 220 miles, 5.8 seconds 0-60, 130 mph top speed.

Long Range = $44k +  310 miles 5.1 secs 0-60 for the fancy one (which also costs $9k more)

Autopilot = +$5k

Premium Package = +$5k (glass roof, power seats, wood trim) (Power seats are premium!)

Full self-driving = +3k (if that ever happens)

 

SO AFFORDABLE!!

 

~ Golf R 0-60 is 5.2 / Audi S4 4.8 / STI 4.7 / 8q

 

Claims no other car in that price range as “great”!

I see three different wheel options

30 with customers and 20 going to engineer testing

More promises of getting the cars to more customers. Pleading really.

Wow, even S and X take about 2 months to get.

12 minutes of Musk

Only a handful of the owners shown going to cars. But not all 30? None drove away. Only the one Musk drove on stage moved.

Promotional footage of Model 3’s driving and it’s over.

Really seems like a way to appease the people that registered for a car and are wondering when they’ll actually get one.

No actual footage of interior. Only computer generated footage.

Can use your phone and bluetooth (?) to unlock car. (hackers!)

 

~ [p] No more iPod Nano or Shuffle!